2 Years, Too Long

By: Marcus King aka Kalel

As I sit here, knowing that you used me as a filter, for your life decisions, I am happy that I am going to go do what I need to do for me.

This place that I called “Home” never felt like home. It felt like a place for you to do your dirty work.

It felt like a place I didn’t want to come home too.

Walking on eggshells every day, waiting for you to snap

….in light of  your PTSD and Bipolar behaviors.

That’s some scary stuff when you really think about it and you expected me to deal with it?

You wanted to claim everything that I purchased; showing off to your friends on Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook…..but can’t claim me.

“A good job, well done” but you didn’t pay for anything.

A poser at best, I believe that’s what you said on Twitter.

A poser is a person who ACTS in an affected manner in order to impress others. To me, also known as a fake individual.

Oh but it makes sense why you would use the word, poser, because while you are living your life through me, you are posing as something that you are not.

Be the real you! You are not a model Mr. Ziggy Rodgers….. You are Shelton Zanders with medical conditions and you need medicine and counseling.

Modeling requires much more work and effort , which didn’t show at all. Haha, you called playing the video game work. Funny.

The video game, alcohol, smokes, and beer is only there to calm down the voices in your head.

Where is your meds for these conditions you are having? Oh, that’ right. You feel you don’t need them.

Let me tell you, after taking many psychology classes, you are borderline Cognitive Schizophrenia.

What else can I say, the relationship was very hard to be in. I am glad that you are gone and I don’t have to deal with your insane behaviors anymore.

The lashing out (yes domestic abuse), slamming doors, hanging the phone up in my ear, breaking doors, punching holes in the walls, cursing everyone out if it is not how you see it or envision it, The love letters from guys, the used condoms found under the bed, the cheating and lying, the don’t want me to come home while your people here, the taking phone calls in the bathroom and whispering, or taking them in the car so he won’t know that I am around.

I wonder if “they” ever knew about me. Hmmm oh well, everything in your darkness will come to light.

But you never understood why I was so angry all the time. The hurt I felt day to day. Now you know….


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